It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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