I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
