all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
