New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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