things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
