...so i touched it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
