He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
