So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
