their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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