Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
