I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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