I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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