Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
