he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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