i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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