TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
