just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
