I want to stick my p in your. b.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
