Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
