it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
