dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Drunk walkin through police station. America
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
