I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
