He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize