For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
