She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
