do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
