i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
