It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
