Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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