He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
