nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize