I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
