sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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