I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
