I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
