You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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