I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
