It's Friday. Sex?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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