haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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