i think my tv is drunk
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
