summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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