I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
