Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
