I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
