GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
