hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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