Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
