Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
