im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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