no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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