But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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