What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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