You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
