shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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