I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
